Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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