I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
