Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
