I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Randomize
