i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
