Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
