Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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