I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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