Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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