There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
