I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
