I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
