But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
