It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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