idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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