This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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