Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
