remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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