Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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