she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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