i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
NoShamevember. You game?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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