I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
