Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize