You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
