Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
