Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
