if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
