When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
