he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Farmville is her only friend.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
