Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
