he shaved USA in his pubs
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
