Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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