I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize