Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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