she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
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Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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