a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
