kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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