The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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