I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
