A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
did i just pee glitter
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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