while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
sex in a hospital.. check
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
