hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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