remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize