It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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