the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
