ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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