before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM