She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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