apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
what day is it and did you see me today?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?