Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
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Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.