Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.