I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this boner is exhausting
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties