I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
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The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
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I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.