the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness