Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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