Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
