I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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