grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
