Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
