shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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