do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize