I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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