god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
