you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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