First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
