Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
