it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
