im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
