Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
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so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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