listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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